“I love you one-hundred fifty-nine”

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For every word I wanted to learn, spell or put into a story – Sedona-Grace writes numbers: proud of her process.

Hungry for more.

And despite her artistic flair for people in motion – she is just as drawn, literally, to all things mechanically inclined.

(Hello upcoming math classes for Sedona-Grace. Good-bye Mommy having a clue.)

That’s our dance. My poetic yin to her Lego-building yang.

And for the most part I can figure out what she’s trying to communicate. But I’m only mostly successful when I get my own perspective out of the way.

Motherhood offers anchorage to one of the most important interpersonal life skills: to know our kids means looking at the world from their perspective.

Sounds obvious. Parenting 101.

This morning Sedona-Grace asked “Mommy, why don’t you remember what you just said? Is that because you are a strange human?”

I think I answered yes.

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Truth is, I will always be a little on the strange side.

am different.

I am other.

And the best way for me to find connection is by entering her world with curiosity, kindness and empathic attunement.

I believe I was successful  (maybe) twice last week. When she was sleeping.

Most of the time I’m battling dragons like Impatience, Stress, Impatience, Forgetfulness, Impatience or simply Getting-Out-The-Door – with no patience.

Which brings me to something spiritual I feel every time I say good night. Our day has ended. We’ve said prayers together and tomorrow is a new day.

And that, right there, is The Moment.

I’ve done my best as a mom, I’ve been forgiven for what I’ve done. And no matter how much I missed the mark I have tomorrow.

From the  open door and through the hall I hear her sweet small voice:

Good night mommy. I love you one-hundred-fifty-nine plus a thousand.”

Good night Sedona Grace. I love you one-hundred-fifty-nine plus a thousand, too.”

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“The way we talk to our children

becomes their inner voice.” – Peggy O’Mara

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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